Is Body Weight an Issue When Deciding to Date Someone?
Is weight an issue in dating?
To be blunt, the answer is yes.
But before you call me out for being weight biased, hear me out.
Weight is only partly the issue; it’s what the media and society are trying to carve into our minds that makes it an issue.
The movies often show a warped sense of weight bias that makes people think twice about dating people who do not have the same body weight as we do.
Let’s take “The Nutty Professor,” for example. The movie shows how a man struggles with love because of his weight. When he magically gains the ability to lose weight on command, he suddenly becomes a ladies’ man.
What does this tell viewers?
It tells us that being fat is not okay when it comes to love. That you will have a hard time finding a person who will love you just because of your weight. But while this might be true in some aspects, it is not in its entirety.
Dating is mainly based on preference — just like how you prefer red as compared to any other color. Or how you prefer your pizza without pineapple. Or how you would rather drive a smaller car than a big SUV.
When it comes to dating, the same is true. People date based on their preferences.
While the majority of people might prefer smaller-bodied partners, there are always those who like a heavyweight partner more than one that is slender.
It’s all about upbringing.
Growing up, I’ve seen countless people who are overweight. Let’s just say the people around me are blessed with body fat. The fact that I grew up seeing and interacting with these people, means that I am more accepting of dating heavier people.
If you are brought up watching TV all the time, you will acquire the media’s version of perfect people — beautiful, tan, slim, and tall. In real life, these attributes are unrealistic, but you grow up learning what society thinks men and women should look like, and you often find yourself turning a blind eye to “imperfect” people.
As a result, your culture and the way you are brought up defines how tolerant you are when it comes to body weight.
Date someone your size.
Over time, the issue of weight became more than just a health matter. It is now a topic of debate, especially when it comes to mixed-weight couples. Fat + thin, thin + fat.
A study about the prejudice against mixed-weight couples shows that people who are dating heavier partners tend to go on less expensive dates and are less likely to display physical affection. The reason behind this is that they are afraid of what society will think about their relationships.
The study also showed that couples who are mixed-weight are considered less favorable than a same-weight couple. They are also found to delay introductions to their loved ones, showing how people are reluctant to tell even those who are close to them about their mixed-weight relationship.
If you see the pattern here, weight has never been the issue, but what we think is acceptable.
Now, let’s get one thing straight: we should all take care of ourselves. I get it, it’s hard to lose weight. Bad food is too addicting and accessible. Working out is time-consuming and hard. And frankly, we all deserve to let loose once in a while.
I’m not arguing that being overweight isn’t physically unhealthy. That’s just science and it’s not going to change regardless of how we feel.
But the thing is, not all of us are at that stage yet. Let’s make our own decision about when to get there.
And while we aren’t, don’t shut the door out on love.
So while weight might be a health issue, it shouldn’t be when it comes to deciding to date someone. Do not be afraid to go against the herd mentality. As an individual, you always have a choice — a choice to decide how to live your life and who to make a part thereof, regardless if you are fat, thin, slim, overweight, or toned.
